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You’d think we’d be used to it by now, but we’re always surprised about how Term 1 always goes quickly and is packed full of fun.

The Book of Mormon came to Melbourne and it was time for us to finally see it (we didn’t see it in London, and Adele and Carlo didn’t see it in New York). Chuckles came too and it was time to get our sacrelicious on.

The short review goes: it was just as rude as we’d expected, but we didn’t expect the end message of ‘it doesn’t matter how batshit crazy your faith is, if faith makes you happy, good on you!’ The church near the carpark seemed to agree.

Chuckles had so much fun that she came back to Gtown with us, which was particularly lucky the
next morning when a young man rocked up to (finally) fix the carnage Nanna had wreaked on our deck. The problem was that no one told us he was coming, so it was nice that Chuckles was around to give him electricity while he basically reconstructed the whole thing.
He was a very patient young man, what with all the comings and goings.By the time we got home from work, Chuckles was there and Andru had rocked up on his way home from a conference, said ‘I’m the brother’ and strolled right in. I suppose that meth-heads probably wouldn’t be wearing a suit
and it was nice that Andru didn’t have to wait around outside
. We celebrated with pizza, and then Andru whisked Chuckles away to visit the Cabin Girl on Somers Camp visitors’ day.


We’ve continued hanging out at Torquay’s Cowrie Market, which is usually quite warm, and there was no reason to expect that February’s market would have been any different. Joke’s on us (and the planet), cos the weather was cuckoo, crazy and freezing! We’re very glad we dropped fifty bucks on  buying someone’s marquee, because it has now not only paid for itself but also saved all our stuff when
the apocalypse happened. At least we don’t have to water the dinosaurs again!

 Also, all things considered, we had quite a successful week, so it was worth showing up (and claiming the high ground, can you see those puddles??).


Anyhoo, the next week Chuckles had a birthday, so we followed the dolphins over to say happy

As a traditionally romantic husband, D’admiral gave Chuckles a mulcher (or a really effective coleslaw maker), which as a traditionally romantic wife, Chuckles found delightful. He had to put it together, while Chuckles showed that no one grows out of playing in boxes.



The neighbours came around for drinks, but Stinky had homework to do, in the form of making house-coloured truffles for school, so decided to multi-task. Everyone contributed, from emptying the champagne bottle we used to crush the biscuits, colouring the coconut, rolling the balls to cleaning up our hands afterwards.

We celebrated with sparklers, which everyone enjoyed unreservedly and without fear of immolation.  

Meanwhile, down the back, some baffles were being prepared to be erected, to help baffle the seaweed and keep the creek cleaner. Or they just left stuff down on the beach for us to play with, because they’re nice.

We saw a bunch of kids doing camp activities at the beach, so the Cabin Girl scoped them out to make sure they were doing a good job, as she’d just come off that camp too.

Chuckles, Pye and Robyn were a little distracted, as that goddamn jigsaw was nearing completion and they had to defend it from people who only had their best interests at heart.

Finally, it was done... they destroyed it. Stinky kept trying to help.

D’admiral wasn’t quite sure how to cope with getting his breakfast table back, but he soon figured it out.

Back in Gtown the fun and games didn’t stop, no sir-ee. For starters, Tobori the roomba got eyes, so ran around seeing what it was bumping into…

Pye probably needed a few more sets of eyes when pruning the yucca, so she could have seen the head-wound coming, instead of just bleeding all over the place when it mistook her for a zombie and tried to pierce her skull.

Meanwhile, Stinky wishes she had no eyes when Pye brought home a jar of jam from a student (it was still warm too, ewww).

Soon enought there were more birthdays afoot and we celebrated a late Belrog-birth and an early
Stinkenpah’s, German style (which is to say with lots of beer, sausages and sauerkraut)

 When the hangover wore off and she could be around bright lights again, Stinky got to play with one
of her gifts – a Pyro Pet. Inside this rabbit lurks an angry skeleton, just waiting to emerge.

Moose is both intrigued and made uncomfortable by this new friend.


Our real birthday came around and Chuckles was here to help us celebrate. We got home from school to find sticky notes like this one everywhere we could think of (and in some places we didn’t think of).

D’admiral joined us the next day to help beat our gifts into shape. The poor citrus trees had been in their pots for ten years and, although brave, there were not as happy as they could be. D’admiral and Chuckles wrestled them out, cut their hair and procured new homes for them – now everyone is very happy.

We celebrated at the Customs House, a place where the building is better than the menu or the service...

 ...before popping across to the Wool Museum. We said hi to our old friend (giant woolly balls)...

...and got stuck into the main attraction. Horrible History’s pirate exhibition is arguably even more fun for the grownups than for the children. We have to admit that this was our second visit and we’re not sorry at all.

Right near the start, there’s a Wii that projects rats onto the floor. If you stomp on them, they squish! It’s heaps of fun, but also comes with a vague sense of anxiety if they get away. D’admiral kept sneaking back to kill them, though, so we think he got most of them, it’s okay.

We got the thrones we deserved...

...and got to design our own pirate flag, which was then hoisted up for all to see.

 We got to shoot each other with cannons and only accidentally shot one or two kids.

It was so much fun that we had to go for a bit of a cold drink and a sit-down before the main event of the day – segways on the waterfront! It is a ridiculous amount of fun, even if it is a bit more intimidating than the vineyard, what with everyone watching.

Lunch, pirates and segways all in one day meant that we were over-stimulated and tired at the end of the day. Which is just when you want to meet a giant evil arachnid and the web it has built between your house and fence, precisely where you’d go to take the bins out!

I don’t care that it’s an orb spider and is relatively harmless, we need to burn it all down! Kill it!
Kill it with fire!! 

The neighbours must have found a nest of spiders too, because they tore the whole back of their house off. The sunflowers Chuckles got us was definitely very nervous and kept a keen watch out for fleeing arachnids.

Term One includes such fun as Cultural Diversity Week. Stinky’s school has a student leadership team that run activities over the week, with Stinky’s support. In the course of events, they pinched a metre-ruler off a desk to help complete a task, but made sure it went back. Except then the owner (let’s call him G), kept glowering at the poor student leader, demanding to know where his ruler was. The poor girl was getting quite anxious about the whole thing, when G casually dropped that he had the ruler the whole time and was just messing with her. Where’s the ruler? On his desk! ...well, briefly. Stinky went and stole it back and gave it to the student. She took it home, painted it pink, bejewelled it and decorated it with feathers – that’ll teach G to try and deliberately upset a kid!

That should be the end of it, right? Except that one of the orangutans that hangs from the ceiling suddenly went missing and G started snickering into his mustache again (and posting ‘missing’ posters).

What were we to do, but to stick pictures of orangutans up all over his
office? If they happened to be vaguely threatening or have his ruler, why, so
much the better!



After about a week, Stinky got a stool pigeon to squeal and discovered the erstwhile orangutan in a cupboard. She went to stash it in G’s office, but couldn’t reach. A tall cleaner was just trying to do his job when she asked if he was up for mischief. He said yes instantly, and intrepidly climbed the furniture. Now Stinky has to keep pretending that she doesn’t know where the orangutan is and G doesn’t know where it is, either. All he has to do is look up in his office, but so far the little lurker has eluded detection.

What with all the orangutan hijinks, we thought it would be good to go see them in real life again, so as soon as the holidays swung around, we packed everyone up and bogged off to Sumatra, hurrah! Let’s see if we can come up with more adventure-worthy material, that – shouldn’t be hard!
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July 2017


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