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We have had another long term, but it’s been full of fun. This fun should probably come with a language-warning.
 
We knew that we were going to get along like a house on fire since the very start of term. We were heroically visiting the gym one warm day, and the fan wasn't on. We were like, “Uurgk fucker, the fan's not on!” Then the fan came on by itself and we were like, “YAY yes the fan is on!” But wait…
Owner: Why did that fan go on?
Us: Umm…we know you never like to put it on but maybe today you’re not really tight and have done a good thing…?
Owner: Durr no?
Margaret: I SMELL BURNING
Owner: Ooh is something on fire MAYBE I’LL CALL MY HUSBAND
Pye: WHAT IS THAT BRIGHTLY INTERESTING SPARK I SEE UP THERE ON THE FAN CORD?
Stinky: IDK I might get out from under it
Margaret, Stinky and Pye: LOOK THAT WIRE IS WHOOSHING AND CATCHING FIRE
Owner: I am still on the phone and not paying any attention to you bitchas
Stinky and Pye: TURN IT OFF
Owner: *la la la still not listening*
Pye: TURN IT OFF which one of these fucking fire thingies is for electrical fires, quick run, find that one before you call 000
Margaret: panic eeeiiiii
Stinky: TURN IT OFF WHY AREN'T YOU TURNING IT OFF WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU Fuck it I'll keep an eye on the fire to see where it goes let me just dial 00 then if I need to press 0, meanwhile I reckon that thingo by the door should put things out, if the whole timber beam it's on doesn't decide to join in

Then when the fire fizzled itself out soon after sparking, farting and ashing over everything, owner’s husband told her that she ought to unplug both the fans (which are up high and out of reach) so got up on a metal chair and picked up a mop with a metal handle with which to lever the plug out.
Stinky: HEY LET'S TURN THE POWER OFF BEFORE WE TRY ANY SHIT
Owner: No it's OK it's off, see that fan that has recently been sparking, gently fanning ash and on fire for hmm idk at least a while doesn't seem to be currently connected to any power source
Stinky: I think you should get the fuck down and come and show me where the switches are
Owner: WHAT IS A SWITCH I DON'T KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND SWITCHES EVERYTHING
Stinky: I AM NO GENIUS BUT I KNOW A SWITCH BOX THINGY WITH THINGS LABELLED 'ALL THE ZAPPY ZAPPY GOSE OFF WEHN U SWICH ME TEH OTHER WAY' WHEN I SEE IT, LET'S TURN OFF THESE THINGS AND ALSO YOU’RE WELCOME I SAVED YOUR LIFE
Pye: I know CPR!
Margaret: Um I want to go home now, I'm actually traumatised this was like a nightmare how could this happen you've had the fans for liek less than 6 months
Stinky & Pye: See you tomorrow lol
It's best if we don't recount how Owner was trying to get the plugs out with the broom way above her head and resisted any suggestion of how to get leverage ('rest the broom on that fuse box and move it towards me' *moves it away from the fuse box and also away from Stinky: u know wat, just leave owner, I am boss now

I know, what a roller-coaster ride of adventure! Easter came around soon after that, and we learned that that was when they decided to demolish Christ the King, a church across the road from where we grew up. They demolished it on Good Friday – and presumably had to knock it down again on Sunday (ba-doom ting). Donna who works with Pye lives nearby, so she stole us a brick as a souvenir. We are playing Jump Over The Brick now. Or Duck Duck Brick. Or Truth or Brick. They are all good games.

Stinky’s school hosted a bunch of Indonesians for an eternity, which was a great way to remind us of cultural differences. Indonesians tend to be much more laissez-faire about things like deadlines and…you know…organising ways to get the group to the airport at 5am on their final day. Or mentioning that you’re vegan until after a very nice Mothers’ Day lunch at Nonna’s….

It wasn’t just about mothers that day, either – Moose had turned 19 and Chuckles made sure he had a nice card and a gift.
Stinky had given him a book that was made just for him…
…and he got even more obnoxious when he got a car!
He insisted on bringing his new book to Somers for the Queen’s Birthday long weekend, where the air was filled with the sound of farts around the world. The creek didn’t smell farty, as it wasn’t blocked up yet, despite the best efforts of the new baffles.
We ended up smelling fartier after a sunny beach walk, thanks to Camel-attacks.
He was very good with the smol people who sprouted like toadstools and barely attacked them at all.
Stinky used up all her luck over the term, with a lost earring. One Friday, she discovered after the two kilometre walk to work that she was down to just one. It was very sad, as they were from a nice little shop in Bali and had a matching ring and necklace. She walked home, retracing her steps, no luck. She talked herself into letting it go all weekend, but come Monday morning, she found herself scanning the ground as she trudged, alternating between ‘give it up, it’s gone’…‘what if it isn’t?’ … ‘you’ll never find it!’…’but what if you do?’ Next thing you know, there it was, in the expanse of bitumen in front of the church! It straightened up just fine – now all that needs to happen (after a good clean) is for Stinky to get emotionally prepared to wear it again.
Finding an earring was indeed a highlight in a term that was otherwise so boring that Pye's credit card bill hit a record low. Although we did discover that there is now a name for the micro-generation born between 1977 and 1983… hey, that’s us!

Since we got the Spinstar Pad in back 2009, various owners and the council have been promising to do something about the ropewalk shed that made up our back fence – as well as the back fence of over 20 other houses. We didn’t mind it being there, as it made a nice sound-buffer against any back neighbours that we might have, but for some reason people were getting upset when sheets of rusty corrugated iron were flying off its roof in high winds.
Woolworths had been a giant baby about anything related to it, so eventually sold it to a private contractor. The council gave him 90 days to get it taken down, so naturally he waited until the last two weeks to inform residents and get moving on it. Did you know that two weeks isn’t long enough to get a giant bee hive removed from the ivy, so that the tree people could deal with this tree?
Luckily one day we got home from work to find the whole shed gone, along with the bee hive (the poor anaphylactic demolition dude must have had a fun time!) and most of the ivy, hooray! The downside was that we finally got to see our back neighbours. Does it count as seven or eight council flats if one of them is burnt out? Our side neighbour didn’t help by sending us daily updates of how often the cops were over there (every day, woo!). We felt very exposed and vulnerable all of a sudden…

It took an unreasonably long time to get the fence in, which was actually lucky for us, as it took ages to get the wonky tree down. Pye was best friends with the tree peeps’ receptionist by the end of trying to schedule it, and they didn’t even get mad when in the end our neighbour got his mate to take the tree down for a fraction of the cost. After that, the fence went up and we were less exposed again. Stinky still thinks it’s a matter of time until someone breaks in, cracks it because we don’t have anything worth stealing and takes a dump on the carpet.

In the meantime, Donna from work had grown weary of jumping over the brick and had decided the best way to celebrate her birthday was to get a table together for a spot of trivia. It was in aid of a worthy cause, but sadly, it wasn’t the best-organised event. They had a fine idea of having prizes for each round, with the end idea of putting all the round-winners into a hat and randomly draw the grand prize winner. A fine idea, which would have worked better if there were more than three teams…or if we hadn’t smashed every single round. One of the other teams kept trying to hang shit on us for being smart, so it was with great satisfaction that we deprived them of their prizes. At the end of the night we got the hell out toot-sweet, though – we thought we might be safer to divvy up the spoils later…
Speaking of hate, a re-read of the Anne of Green Gables series reveals just how much Anne hates Pyes…
Term two is about two three weeks too long, but we limped towards the end with hope in our hearts. If you want an idea of how it feels, these puppets illustrate it rather elegantly.
This was our first break for the year where we didn’t go gallivanting (*sigh* such first world problems *sigh*), so there were many jobs to take care of. In between, we headed to Somers, where we found not only D’admiral and Chuckles, but also a Cabin Girl, a Powder Monkey and a Grandmama.

The weather was cold, but not too wet, so we got in a great range of activities from walks, shopping (both op-shop and a Kmart rampage) and crafty-times.
The Cabin Girl’s wish-list included some time at Coolart, so we generously agreed to help her out.

She wanted some quiet time to write and heard that a bath is often a good place to find some solitude. We suggested she nude up and sit in there, and if anyone came in she was to shout, “IT’S THE CREATIVE PROCESS, GET OUT!” but for some reason she seemed to think that we were joking.
So she went a-wandering until she found a picturesque place to stop.
Chuckles decided to do what Chuckles always likes to do – climb a tree. The Cabin Girl wasn’t quite as elegant about it, but it’s a brave effort.

A brave effort indeed, but not award-winning – unlike the Scottish gentleman in the crew’s new favourite song…
For a change, the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Show actually fell within the holidays – only just. Thus, it was a much more civilised Friday trip up to have afternoon tea with Grandmama, followed by a very convivial dinner with not just her, but also cousins Hannah and Philip and their partners.
Bendigo put on a lovely crisp and clear winter’s day for the traditional woolly-balls hunt, as we again indulged in the annual festival of yarn and craft(and beautiful coats!), whooo!
But alas, it did also herald the end of the holidays, oh if only the last two weeks of term went by as quickly!
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